This year is crawling at a snail’s pace right now and I will be the most elated expat in Korea in 5 months, 1 week and 4 days! I know it’s early but I’ve started my farewell letter to Korea (yes, I like to plan ahead):
1) No, I will not sit in the left turning lane at a green light with no opposing traffic and wait for my turning signal arrow. The only traffic rule your country follows makes no sense.
2) No, I won’t teach your children English just because you approached me in the E-Mart and offered me $40 an hour.
3) No, I won’t be restricted to two menu options at restaurants any longer. I’ve had my fair share of bulgogi and kalbi.
4) No, I won’t push a car, that’s been parked in neutral, out of the way so that I can make it to work on time.
5) No, I won’t pay $10 for an overripe watermelon.
6) No, I won’t just stand there when you butt in front of me in line for train tickets.
7) No, I won’t discipline your unruly children on the street when they start beating up other kids.
8) No, I won’t eat silk worms as a bar snack, no matter how much money is riding on it.
9) No, I won’t tour washed-up sitcom sets as a weekend sightseeing trip.
10) No, I won’t wear a surgical mask around town to keep me from choking on yellow dust.
11) No, I won’t pay $1100 a month for a crappy apartment in a Vegas-sized complex.
12) No, I will not EVER wear a matching outfit as my husband, nor will I ever wear ANYTHING from the store, Teeny Weeny.
13) No, I won’t pay $26 for garbage bags.
14) No, I won’t get up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday to sort my plastics.
15) No, I will not eat mystery pastries with mystery cream from Paris-like bakeries.
16) No, I will not do only one load of laundy at a time, I will multitask, washing and drying simultaneously – HAH!
I’m sure I’ll think of more as the next 5 months wears on – stay tuned!